Sirach 27:30-28:9
Romans 14:7-9
Matthew 18:21-35

Bishop Untener's Homily

It isn't hard to catch the point of today's Gospel - and the other Scripture readings too. The point is forgiveness. Let's take a good look at that.

The Word "Forgiveness"

It's interesting that when Jesus speaks here of forgiveness - and elsewhere in the Gospels too - the Gospel writers use a Greek word that really means "let go of" or "abandon." It's the same word, for example, that is used when Peter and Andrew abandoned their boat and nets to follow Jesus.

That can be a helpful insight. You realize that it takes only one person to forgive. One person. Me. I simply let go of the unforgiving thoughts and feelings within me.

Reconciliation is another matter. It takes two people to bring about reconciliation, and both have to cooperate. That, of course, is something much to be sought after. But I can't control the other person and working out reconciliation can take time. On the other hand, forgiveness takes only one person. Me. And forgiveness takes about two minutes.

How to Forgive

Some time ago I read a book about forgiveness written by a fellow named Lewis Smedes. It was a revelation to me, and perhaps it will be a revelation - and a help - to you. I learned that forgiveness involves three steps.

First, I take some time to think about the person I need to forgive and, instead of totally identifying that person with whatever they did to hurt me, I begin to see them as a human being like me - an imperfect child of God. There's more to that person than whatever they did to me. What I tend to do is see the person only in terms of the problem between us. But that is a distortion. That person has a life, and it involves the same things that are in my life. I need to put him or her in a larger perspective. That may seem obvious, but when we're hurt and angry, it's another story. This simple step can make a huge difference.

Second, I give up my "right" to get even. (We really don't have a right to get even, but we think we do because "they've got it coming.") This second step gets at the heart of the word used in today's Gospel... the word that means, "to let go." Giving up the "right" to get even involves not only letting go of whatever vindictive things I was going to do in return. It also involves "letting go" of vengeful thoughts. Those thoughts don't make the other person suffer - the other person is totally unaffected by whatever vengeful thoughts I cook up. Such thoughts hurt only one person, namely, me. They rot in my stomach and have a bad effect on me.

Third, I ask the Lord to be with me, and together with the Lord I look at the other person. For sure the Lord wants good things to happen to that person. So, with the Lord's help (and with some struggle) I look at the person the way the Lord does. I pray for the person and, with the Lord, I decide that I want good things to happen to them.

When I have taken those three steps, I have achieved forgiveness.

And I am free, free at last.

Why Forgive?

That takes care of the question of how we forgive. Let's turn now to the question of why we should forgive.

There are a number of good reasons why we should forgive. For example, it brings healing and peace to our own lives. Nursing a grudge is bad for your health.

But the strongest reason is one I never, ever thought of until this past week when I was thinking about this Gospel passage.

There is a prayer I like to say at the beginning of each day. I didn't write it myself. It's an old prayer and it goes like this:

O God, you created me and put me on earth for a purpose.
Jesus, you died for me and called me to help complete your work.
Holy Spirit, you inspire me to carry on the work for which I was created and called.

I was put here on earth for a purpose... born into this time and place to help carry out God's plan for the universe and for all people. I am to help bring about the Reign of God, which is what Jesus talked about over and over. I have received God's love, and I am to mediate, channel that love into creation. Every act of love is like a tiny mustard seed, or a little bit of leaven that affects everything. It brings creation closer to the day when all will be well, when there will be peace and goodness all around. What I do may seem very small, and/or unnoticed, but it is like a flower in the desert whose fragrance seems to have no effect. But it does have an effect, and the whole world is different because of it.

I have to ask myself each day whether I will bring light or darkness, goodness or evil into the world. I have to remind myself that God created me and put me on earth for a purpose, like that desert flower.

I have a graphic example that you're likely to remember, and I think the memory will help. A few years ago an appliance storeowner gave me a small stand-up freezer with a door on the top that you lift to open. He thought I could use it to keep a small supply of frozen food, which I could microwave for lunch. So, I put it in a back room off my office. The truth is I hardly ever used it. One Christmas someone gave me a frozen turkey, and I put it in that freezer. And then I forgot about it. A year later, I got another frozen turkey, and I put that one in the freezer, and that's when I noticed the turkey from the year before.

One night, the electricity in our building went out for a few minutes, but then came back on. I hadn't noticed this, because everything was up and running the next morning. Trouble is (as I was later to discover), the freezer didn't re-start when the electricity came back on.

About a week later I came into the office very early in the morning to get a few things done, and as I was coming up the back stairs I noticed a strange, foul smell in the air. I wondered what it was. As I came nearer to my office, it grew stronger. I followed the odor, and it took me to that back room off my office. It was coming from the freezer. When I lifted open the top, it almost knocked me over. I won't give you the gross details of what I saw - and smelled - but I'm sure you can imagine it. I spent the next two hours emptying and cleaning the freezer, and spraying Lysol into the air, and lighting candles and doing everything I could do to get that smell out of the air.

And so, back to the question: Why should I forgive? When I think about that freezer, I see things differently. It's not a matter of... if I don't forgive, God will get me for it. No. I realize that to harbor vengeful thoughts and feelings in my heart, to have unforgiving baggage rotting within me, is like those two rotting turkeys in my freezer. Those thoughts and feelings give off fumes, and they flow into the world around me. I really can't keep them inside me, any more than the door of that freezer could hold the smell of those rotting turkeys inside.

The question is what do I want to flow from me into this world? The fragrance of God's love, which I am called to mediate into creation... or the stench of unforgiving thoughts and feelings that I have inside me, and which inevitably flow into the world?

When I think of it that way, I see things differently. I would never want to radiate into the world the putrid fumes of vengeance. I realize that God created me and put me on earth for a purpose - to help bring God's love more fully into the world. God's love for me, God's gracious forgiveness, refreshes my soul. And I want to bring more of that into the world. It's as simple as that.

Originally given on September 15, 2002